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Canwest News Service
Uh oh: It looks like the brain trust at the Toronto Star learned about that "Internet" thing from their grandchildren over the Christmas holidays. They even learned about a new-fangled website called "Facebook," where people meet to exchange photos, gossip and talk politics. Why, it's just like the Tuesday bridge club — except you don't have to put out folding chairs or make sandwiches.
We know about the Star editors' foray onto the big exciting Interweb because of the newspaper's front-page headline on Monday: "Grassroots fury greets shuttered Parliament." The breathless story suggests Canada is on the verge of some kind of violent 1917-style revolution — a "growing public uprising" no less, complete with "protest rallies" from coast to coast, and young activists full of unhinged, wild-eyed rage. The evidence for all this: 20,000 people joined a Facebook page called "Canadians Against Proroguing Parliament," which urges Parliament to "Get back to work."
As "news stories" go, this is the journalistic equivalent of the doddering old in-law who, upon learning about the Internet from her hair colourist, proceeds to fill everyone's inbox with lawyer jokes and pictures of cute cats. Anyone who has been on the Internet since … oh, about 1996 … can attest that getting 20,000 people to sign a petition is about as easy as finding a Twilight fan site.
For all we know, that 20,000 figure is up to 50,000 now, thanks to the Star publicity. Or maybe even 100,000. Who knows? But for the sake of context, let's look at some other causes that also got a six-digit response: Almost 300,000 people have joined a group encouraging rocker John Mellencamp to quit smoking. Another hundred thousand people have joined a group encouraging random people to move to Finland. A whopping half-million people have used the power of Facebook to declare that they enjoy the television program 90210.
And then there's our personal favourite: A group called "If 100,000 people join this group, Laura will name her son Megatron" recently met its goal. Congratulations, Laura, on the birth of your Transformer. We bet you didn't know that he'd become the subject of — what does the Star call it? — oh yes, a "growing public uprising"!
